The Calm-Down Kit for Kids: Tools to Manage Your Kid's Anxiety

Understanding Anxiety in Children

Anxiety, fear, and worry are natural parts of being human. These emotions are so fundamental to our survival that our brains have dedicated circuitry for them. While these feelings once protected us from genuine threats like predators, today they’re more likely triggered by daily challenges – like traffic for adults or waiting for a turn for kids.

Though these feelings are natural, they can become problematic when they interfere with daily life. While serious anxiety may require professional help, having tools to manage everyday stress is valuable for both parents and children. Teaching these coping skills early helps children develop lifelong emotional resilience.

Tools by Age Group

Preschoolers & Kindergartners

Young children naturally experience anxiety and fear as they navigate their big world. Here are techniques to help build their coping skills:

Deep Breathing Games

• Pizza Breath: Hold your hand flat, palm up, pretending it’s a pizza. Smell the pizza (breathe in deeply) and blow on it to cool it down (long exhale)
• Magic Wand: Attach a feather to a popsicle stick. Have children make the feather “dance” by breathing deeply and blowing

Tip: Practice these techniques during calm moments, not just during distress

Physical Activities

• Building Blocks: Label blocks with worries or fears, stack them up, then knock them down
• Tugs & Hugs: Engage in “heavy work” like pushing laundry baskets. 
• Therapeutic Touch: Use massage and firm cuddling for proprioceptive feedback

Early Elementary Schoolers

As children develop more complex emotional awareness, try these approaches:

Emotional Expression Tools

• Color Labeling: Assign colors to different feelings (e.g., “green” for anxiety). By using colors for these hard feelings, you’re giving your child more ways to communicate how they’re feeling with you.
• Drawing Activities: Encourage children to illustrate their feelings, and from there, you can even ask them to assign characters to different feelings, and help them come up with ways to manage them in a cartoon format, for example.
• The Mindful Train: Imagine thoughts as train cars arriving and departing and ask your child how they feel as each car arrives and leaves.

Late Elementary & Tweens

Older children can engage with more sophisticated coping strategies:

Digital Resources

• Online programs like GoZen or Coping Cat
• Age-appropriate mindfulness apps
• CBT-based tools and games

Tools for All Ages

These techniques work across age groups to build connection:

• Special Time: Set aside dedicated periods to follow your child’s lead and let them be in charge. Be clear about how much time you’ve set aside. This is an excellent way to strengthen your relationship and build trust, which also helps them reduce stress.
• Play-Listening: Engage in playful activities where the child feels powerful. This allows them to confront their fears or anxieties in a safe space.

Tips for Implementation

1. Introduce techniques during calm moments
2. Practice regularly, not just during stressful times
3. Allow children to choose tools that resonate with them
4. Model using these strategies yourself
5. Maintain consistency in your approach

Remember

The most powerful tool is modeling healthy stress management yourself. Children learn by watching how we handle our own emotions and challenges. Take time to develop and use your own coping strategies – you’ll be teaching valuable life skills by example.

Note: While these tools are helpful for managing everyday stress and mild anxiety, please seek professional help if your child’s anxiety significantly impacts their daily life.